NYE Reflections

Specific New Year’s Eves stand out in my mind:
Sleeping ‘cause I couldn’t stay awake
Playing pool through the night
Babysitting
Hanging out with friends
Being romanced then proposed to
Eating a grape at each strike of the countdown
Vomiting from flu and morning sickness
Dancing and socializing till the wee hours
Chatting on the phone with a long distance friend
Sitting home alone
And though every year is different, some things remain constant:
It is a time for reflection and new direction
A time to mourn wasted time and vow to recompense
A time to say good bye and hello
A time to say “It’s time.”
Happy New Year

All I Want for Christmas

Every year, lists are made
By children young and old
For Santa Claus, the merry elf
No request too simple or bold
My two front teeth, a white Christmas
both typical requests
For you, for me, the choice unique
No one selection best
A favorite toy, a movie or CD
Gift cards collectibles,
All tangible, top the list
But my greatest wish this year
Is something I don’t want missed:
Carefree time together with friends and family
Laughs and smiles galore
Heartfelt memories
A lifetime filled with love and more
What do YOU want for Christmas?

In My Mind

And as if you might actually be here
I reached out to you
And said your name
Your gentle breathing
The rise and fall of your chest
The subdued smile waiting to be kissed
But it is only in my mind,
That you are here by my side

Astounded am I
by my extreme reaction
to your abrupt departure.
Although you have impacted my life
in reality, I barely knew you.
Your absence a symbolic void
of so many past relationships
ended before reaching fruition.

Fluke Theory

The FLUKE theory needs testing . . .
Did your body truly call out to me?
Did your lips hunger for then merge with mine?
Did our laughter not blend together for a joyful melody?
Did we not find interest after shared interest?
Did our fingers not intertwine – so comfortable – so right?
Was is or was it not coincidence – accident – stroke of luck
that our paths crossed and a new journey began?
Or – was it as wonderful as I recall?
The FLUKE theory needs testing . . .
To confirm that it was what it was.

I see ...

What do I see in you?
I see a lingering sadness.
I see a loving father.
I see an entertaining spirit.
I see yearning passion.
I see endearing humor.
I wish I was seeing you.

for a short while

There for just a short while
I was happy.
People noticed.
The smile on my face that radiated from within
The bounce in my step
That special extra something something
That comes from feeling …
From believing
That two people actually can connect on multiple levels.

Each day I anticipated contact --
Albeit simple emails or a voice mail
Your quirkiness and subtle sexiness
Made me happy.

And now you have recoiled to your world
Apart from me … all ties severed
Not for lack of interest or attraction
But angst from the reality of daily living.
If only you would let me help you smile
And bring a little joy …
like you did me
I miss you.

Match in the Dark

Looking for a match
In the dark
Not to light a cigarette
But to burn away the past
And with this new flame
Will I light a new bright future

inspired by and dedicated to Brian and Theresa

The Park

a brief interlude in the park

relaxingon a sun drenched bench

holding hands and kissing fervently

oblivious to others passing ... watching

I acquiese to stroll down memory lane

take a walk through the park

humming a nameless tune

till rain drizzles from the sky

dampening our skin

and I smile

as I am still here with you

I may have fallen

I may have fallen for those eyes,
But I stayed for the way you look at me.
I may have fallen for the sexy curve of your lips,
But I stayed for the way they say my name.
I may have fallen for your charm and witty banter,
But I stayed for the sincerity and directness.
I may have fallen for your sensual kisses and your embrace,
But I stayed for the lingering touch and shivering down my spine.
I may have fallen for all the wrong reasons,
But I stayed for all the right ones.

Ticket Stub
Who would think

that behind old prom dresses and graduation gowns

under mothbitten sweaters

in a box with the four corners tucked under one another

beneath old school pictures,

an outdated magazine with laughable fashions

and a pile of over due bills

is a dust covered wallet

whose measely contents are limited:

a temporary license stapled to its predecessor

a work ID, and a big screen movie card

hidden in a secret zippered pocket

is the movie ticket stub

you told me to save forever just because.

And now the memories overwhelm me more than they should

and I tuck them back awayfor another day.

Awkward

Awkward
That’s how I feel these days
Not knowing left from right
In a daze in my craze
Knowing what is in my heart
Following through I just get a false start
Do over
Re do
One more time
When will I know where to draw the line
Self pride and dignity
Out the door
Wiping my heart up off the floor