Saturday, September 25, 2010

Without a Doubt

Without a doubt
You are my favorite distraction
When the drama surrounds me
You calm me
When tears threaten, you make me smile
When dark clouds loom, You guide the rainbow to my pot of gold
When my thoughts wander to worries, You bring me back to the here and now
You are my favorite distraction.


Sometimes I feel
My body will shut down, Disengage, Collapse
Before I am even horizontal
Other times
I lay awake in he still of the dark
Feigning sleep.
My body is a traitor to itself
Mind racing – body aching
Relief escaping me


Perhaps it’s best
That our time together
Is sporadic
- Basically unplanned
- Inconsistent
That way
You’re a wonderful surprise
- A rainbow on a cloudy day
- A bonus smile at day’s end
Perhaps what I am missing
Is not worth crying over.
I’d like the chance to know

Here and Now

I want you here
Next to me – now
Tomorrow – the next night
I just want to be able
To collapse and be caught
To cry and be comforted
To desire and be wanted
To love and be loved
Now – tonight – tomorrow

the want

My voice wants to call out
“Where re you?”
My fingers want to text
“Did you forget?”
My arms want to envelope you
But your are out of reach
My eyes want to see you
At my door step
My brain wants to forget
The hurt

confused . . .

Double standards

Mixed expectations

Contrary responses

Confusing signals

No absence of truth

No acceptance of reality

I Want To Be The One

I want to be the one
Who holds you as you fall asleep at night
Who greets you after a long bike ride
Who makes love to you during a thunderstorm
Who congratulates you after a game
Who holds you more than just once in a while
Who gazes into your eyes
Who loves you for the rest of my life . . . your life

I want to be "the one"

semblance of routine

How spoiled have I been

By this semblance of routine

How disappointed am I

By this recent divergence

I Wonder

I wonder about . . .
Where you are
Who you are with
What you’re thinking, feeling, dreaming
The few hours we share are few and far between
My favorite hours of the day


It’s cliché’, I know
But you have spoiled me beyond compare
In such a way
I cannot imagine
And yet
Each time I see you
It’s better
the interaction
the connection
the intention
I cannot wait to be spoiled again

Name dropper

Casually, I drop your name in conversations
My friend said . . .
My friend told me . . .
What I don’t say
Is that when you told me …
I was lying in your arms
Caressing your cheek,
Your hand on my thigh
Just a friend . . . I say . . .
But you are anything but “just”