What a year!

What a year …
Like so many
Wrought with drama and celebration
Death and near misses
New and rekindled love
Challenges and achievements
births and new beginnings
Strife and joy
Change, growth, and transition
What a year!
In the end … the good outweighs the bad
In the end … I’m happy not sad.
Happy New Year!

Colors of Christmas

Colors of Christmas
What color is your Christmas?
Bing sings about white Christmas
Elvis about blue, Burl Ives, Silver and Gold
Santa has rosy cheeks and a scarlet coat
holly and Christmas trees - green
Bluebird has gone away
Brown paper packages tied up with strings

A color extravaganza
Not just red and green
Colors significant in all that they mean
My tree is bedecked in traditional colors
But this year I added a few:
Purple for Tri Sigma,
Pink in memory, and
Blue for M go blue
Celebrate and surround yourself with your colors
This day and throughout the year

By Your Side

The first time I slept by your side
I was restless
Unfamiliar, unaccustomed was I
Your presence
Awkward

The next time I slept by your side
It felt “right”
I awoke refreshed
And I smiled when I awoke

Last night when I slept by your side
My head lay on your chest

Our breathing in sync
Our legs intertwined
Tonight I sleep alone, not by your side
The bed is so empty
In the night I awoke
And I reached for you
I vote for more night to sleep by your side

Like the Tide

I lay next to you
My head nestled on your shoulder
Your army pulling me in close
We fall asleep
Through the night
We drift apart
Then we touch and again
Come together
Hand in hand, side by side,
Again we drift
Then find ourselves spooning
Like the tide meeting the shore

Three

3 minutes into our first chat
I was hooked
3 hours into our first date
I was aglow on the dance floor
3 dates in
I couldn’t wait for the next
3 weeks and I’m writing poetry
3 months – the next milestone

Simpler

Life seems simpler
With you ---
The rush and hurry
Fade away
We together –
the world fades away
You – me – together
And in this moment
I am so happy

Our Best Interest

I think it would be in our best interest
To go out
To stay in
To hang out
To chill out
To sleep
To play
To walk in the woods
To search for ghosts
To see a game, a movie, a concert , each other
Yes, I think we should

Never did I expect

Never did I expect
That first date –
Not kept at Paneras
Because we could not wait
Would lead to this…
Now every date …
We anticipate

I like

I like ...
Your playful demeanor
Your cheerful presence
Your sensual touch
Your attention to detail
Your “bad boy” attitude
Your carefree way
Your charming smile

Comfortable

Over and over
One word comes to mind:
COMFORTABLE
- Like an old favorite pair of jeans
- A faded college sweatshirt
- A beloved teddy bear
- An easy boy recliner chair
Comfortable, like two old friends
Meeting for the first time

Thanksgiving 2011

It’s that time of year ….
When we pay attention and focus on that for which we give thanks …
The obvious comes to mind: secure employment, a home, a reliable vehicle, health, love, friendship
The true thanks is in the details:
• A job I love
• My messy home with a great landlord
• My sweet PT Cruiser
• Health insurance for my ailments
• Family near and far
• Friends who make me smile and make me feel special
Life at 50 has been good to me so far! Thanks to all!

BELIEVE

Be happy
Enjoy every moment
Live every day like it was your last
Invest in yourself
Envision all the possibilities
Visualize who you want to be
Experience awesome results

the want

Simply amazing
this feeling of want ...
I've had it before
but with you ...
it's different
more demanding
and an opportunity missed
will leave me wondering, wanting
perhaps even regretting
that I did not give in to my desire
and left now with the wanting
the not knowing
if ever I will get that chance again

Tme and again

Time and tme and time again
life throws a wrench
makes me change my plans
don't get too confident
your life, your love, your work
could tomorrow all be gone
You cannot control
what others say and do.
Only to ourself can you stay true
time and time and time and time again.
I pick myself back up
wipe away a tear or two
anc curse at my badluck
and then I straighten up my back
stick my chin up high
and time and time and time again
begin again my life

Lonely?

Lonely? Me?
Surrounded
non sto
by family, co-workers, and at times friends
I see solace
I seek escape
I see companionship.
I seek communication.
Loney? me?
oh yes

You Never Called

You called me out
-- called my bluff
-- called the kettle black
-- called it like it is
and then
-- you never called

-ation

The saturation
of your infatuation
and your interrogation
of my expectation
of this fraterniztion
raises hesitation
toward my destination
in a mutual relation
- enough explanation

Unwritten agreement

We have an unwritten
unspoken agreement
that the depths of our passion
will never escape the confines
of our moments
and of our memories
our reality
is not fairytale
or happily ever after
but it is a dream come true

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry for all the inequities
for which you feel you suffer
I'm sorry I over reacted,
that my words were not well thought out
I'm sorry my love does not make up
for lack of love received from others
I'm sorry for all the times in my life
I was not quite enough
for being weak when you needed me to be strong
for bad decisions that impacted our lifestyles
for not measuring up to what you wanted from me
but not once have I been sorry
that you're my baby girl -- not once

Photos

Photos document my life
simplest activities record
and shared
for all to see
validating who I am
making real the memories
so when my recollection fails
or days drag on
simple reference to them
rejuvinates and revitalizes my memories

Detour

Detour
redirect
unexpected deviation from the path
by choice we change our route
explore
but detours are not self imposed
we fret; we pout; we complain
a disruption to our routine
but the detour need not be condemned
it opens our eyes to new paths
new perspectives
sights never seen revealed
to you the traveler
on your tried and true route
per chance to execute intentional exploration
my life needs more detours
so I can find the right path

We need to communicate

You hear me, but you do not listen
we exchange words, but we do not communicate

So intent are you to have your say
you talk over me and others
you wait not for your turn
you reflect not on the discouse
but rather push your own agenda
irregardless of what is said

we need to communicate
but you know not how

so romantic

a romantic "our song"
candy hearts
bouquet of roses
symbolic jewelry
poetric words
boxed chocolates
sweet carress

Waiting

I thought maybe
just maybe
it was you
there waiting
just out of reach
maybe after so log
of waiting
but alas
I was mistaken
it was not you
but a mere mirage
of who you might be
somed day
when the waiting
is over

Torment

I cannot sleep.
The words in my head torment me.
Please stop.

why date

Some people date
with the express purpose
of finding someone special
some one so fantastic
to find the time honored "one"
the romantic once in a lifetime

I date to rule out
to learn more about myself
set the standards higher
and make more exceptions

Where is the balance?

I don't belong

I don't belong in your world
any more than you do in mine
so different are our daily paths
that intersection is unlikely
but when they intentionally do ....
the results are phenomenal

Here Before

I've been here before
this place of nothingness
my world is bleak
my future presents nothing new
I am restless and lethargic simultaneously
no promises made, thus none broken
results the same

My Favorite Distraction

Without a doubt
You are my favorite distraction
When the drama surrounds me
You calm me
When tears threaten, you make me smile
When dark clouds loom, You guide the rainbow to my pot of gold
When my thoughts wander to worries, You bring me back to the here and now
You are my favorite distraction.

Sometimes

Sometimes I feel
My body will shut down
Disengage
Collapse
Before I am even horizontal
Other times
I lay awake in he still of the dark
Feigning sleep.
My body is a traitor to itself
Mind racing – body aching
Relief escaping me

Double Standards

Double standards
Mixed expectations
Contrary responses
Inaccurate perceptions
Confusing signals
No absence of truth
No acceptance of reality

Double

How Spoiled

How spoiled have I been
By this semblance of routine
How disappointed am I
By this divergence
My tentative compass

Rebuff

It’s eating me up inside’
seeing you so distraught
alone in your suffering
while I am here so close
yet unable to comfort you
as you rebuff my approach
I want to wrap you in my arms
And tell you IT will be okay –
But I don’t know what “it “ is
And likely never will
I love you always
No matter what

The Rules

You make the rules
You say when – where – how
And because I am addicted to you
I comply
The alternative – the absence of you –
Your scent, your touch
Is unacceptable
I will proceed
For now
For as long as you choose
For it is better than the alternative

It's Cliche

It’s cliché’, I know
But you have spoiled me beyond compare
In such a way
I cannot imagine
And yet
Each time I see you
It’s better
the interaction
the connection
the intention
I cannot wait to be spoiled again

I Measure Your Absence

I measure your absence
In the unanswered calls, texts emails and IMS
In the songs I hear that remind me of you
In the echoes of your name as I say your name in the emptiness you left behind
The compassionate side of me wonders ….
Are you okay?
Are you hurt?
Is work grueling?
Is your family
Are life’s challenges getting you down?
The insecure side of me wonders . . .
What did I do?
Did you go back to her?
Did you ever really like me?
Will I ever see you again?
But either way ….
You’ve excluded me from your life
My friendship left upon a shelf
It will be there … if/when you return
We’ll dust it off and start anew
But till then … I won’t hang on you

Blankie

Through the years my memories have softened
Like the frayed edges of a favorite blankie
Though no longer practical or integral in my day to day living
Too precious to let go
Too cherished to forget

Even now would like to wrap up in the blankie ...

A New Poem

I met him today . . .
a new poem ...
his rhyme has yet to be written

will he be a haiku - poetic but short lived?
will he be a limerick - witty and silly?
will he he be a free verse - unrestrained by rules?
will he be a love sonnet - structured yet romantic?
will he be blank verse - unobtrusive and ordinary?
will he be a ballad - a story to be told?

or perhaps he will remain unwritten . . .
no stanzas of substance on which to reflect
no rhyme, no rhythm, or meter

Either way - I miss you

I measure your absence
In the unanswered calls, texts emails and IMS
In the songs I hear that remind me of you
In the echoes of your name as I say your name in the emptiness you left behind
The compassionate side of me wonders ….
Are you okay?
Are you hurt?
Is work grueling?
Is your family
Are life’s challenges getting you down?
The insecure side of me wonders . . .
What did I do?
Did you go back to her?
Did you ever really like me?
Will I ever see you again?
But either way ….
I miss you.
You’ve excluded me from your life
My friendship left upon a shelf
It will be there … if/when you return
We’ll dust it off and start anew
But till then … I won’t hang on you