Tuesday, April 12, 2011

My Favorite Distraction

Without a doubt
You are my favorite distraction
When the drama surrounds me
You calm me
When tears threaten, you make me smile
When dark clouds loom, You guide the rainbow to my pot of gold
When my thoughts wander to worries, You bring me back to the here and now
You are my favorite distraction.


Sometimes I feel
My body will shut down
Before I am even horizontal
Other times
I lay awake in he still of the dark
Feigning sleep.
My body is a traitor to itself
Mind racing – body aching
Relief escaping me

Double Standards

Double standards
Mixed expectations
Contrary responses
Inaccurate perceptions
Confusing signals
No absence of truth
No acceptance of reality


How Spoiled

How spoiled have I been
By this semblance of routine
How disappointed am I
By this divergence
My tentative compass


It’s eating me up inside’
seeing you so distraught
alone in your suffering
while I am here so close
yet unable to comfort you
as you rebuff my approach
I want to wrap you in my arms
And tell you IT will be okay –
But I don’t know what “it “ is
And likely never will
I love you always
No matter what

The Rules

You make the rules
You say when – where – how
And because I am addicted to you
I comply
The alternative – the absence of you –
Your scent, your touch
Is unacceptable
I will proceed
For now
For as long as you choose
For it is better than the alternative

It's Cliche

It’s cliché’, I know
But you have spoiled me beyond compare
In such a way
I cannot imagine
And yet
Each time I see you
It’s better
the interaction
the connection
the intention
I cannot wait to be spoiled again

I Measure Your Absence

I measure your absence
In the unanswered calls, texts emails and IMS
In the songs I hear that remind me of you
In the echoes of your name as I say your name in the emptiness you left behind
The compassionate side of me wonders ….
Are you okay?
Are you hurt?
Is work grueling?
Is your family
Are life’s challenges getting you down?
The insecure side of me wonders . . .
What did I do?
Did you go back to her?
Did you ever really like me?
Will I ever see you again?
But either way ….
You’ve excluded me from your life
My friendship left upon a shelf
It will be there … if/when you return
We’ll dust it off and start anew
But till then … I won’t hang on you


Through the years my memories have softened
Like the frayed edges of a favorite blankie
Though no longer practical or integral in my day to day living
Too precious to let go
Too cherished to forget

Even now would like to wrap up in the blankie ...